I’ve known for a while that I need to catalog my thoughts – to organize my feelings and to feel normal – but what I’m now realizing is that I need to catalog my muses. I’m finally allowing myself to follow them, but I’m forgetful. I may enjoy reading literature and watching films and TV a whole dang lot, but for the life of me I can’t remember more than a few details from the works I love. Which sucks, because I’m surrounded by friends who are real nerds, and while I love them for this, I also resent them, with their quick recall and memorized quotes… I feel like I’ve already hit dementia: the only things I can remember well are conversations and how long it’s been since someone texted me back. But god forbid I remember some one-liners from my favorite movies…
I’m tired of this. So I’m starting a catalog. A catablog, if you will. I don’t care how many people read it, or if anyone agrees with me. I just like projects. And I’d like to remember what I love, too. That’d be nice.
The way I see it is I’ll pick someone who I’d love to be my boss – someone who makes things that inspire me and someone who I would like to be somewhat similar to in my creative pursuits. (I am deliberately avoiding the word “idolize” here because that carries a passive worship that doesn’t make good art, and doesn’t engage the mind.) I think of the world of creative expression as a bubbly, ongoing cocktail party, forever in the time after it’s gotten into full swing and before anyone gets more than just buzzed, with the art my muses make engaged in conversations with other works from anywhere in the world, at any time, in any medium. And all I aim to do with this project is to eavesdrop.
I’m thinking I’ll call it something like anything for you, boss and it’ll go like this: I’ll pick a boss and I’ll research her or his or their filmography, discography, portfolio, list of works, whatever it is and go through it one post at a time. I’ll compare my thoughts to other thoughts I “overhear” from critics or other writers. I’ll probably also acknowledge some of the works I’ve seen too many times, or works that got enough attention already, and stick to the works I haven’t yet looked at in detail. I’ll intersperse things I make in the process, inspired by the muse. It’ll be an exploration into my muses: a personal gossip column for my cocktail party adventures; I’ll be the shy intern who has to mingle for the first time among people actually getting paid and act witty enough to hang.
My bosses will generally fall into the avenues of: film (all its parts), writing, music, photography, and perhaps even cooking. The first few people that spring to mind are Kristen Wiig (film and TV acting), Esperanza Spalding (jazz vocals/bass), and Linus Lohoff (photography) – but these could change, muses are fickle anyway.
This blog here will remain, of course. This is my personal brain-dump, remember? There’s just another kind of brain-dump that needs to happen, and I don’t believe it fits with this intimate conglomeration of thoughts.
gif from here