Why is it so easy to tell the absolute truth to our pets and animals, but confessions of love, betrayal, wrong-doing, forgiveness, gratitude, loyalty, and more are all so much harder to express to fellow humans? Why do we even call them “confessions”, tagging a slightly negative connotation on the act? Telling someone you love them or that you thank them or respect them is beautiful and almost always makes the recipient feel good. Why is it so hard to tell the truth, when we all know it “will set you free”?
I have been heavily reading many-a-thing these past few days (and my whole life) – I cannot recount everything I read, nor do I feel like it – and have been making some connections between hanging pieces of knowledge and wisdom. And I finally know how to write about it.
I settled on writing about truth. Ever-elusive, yet liberating and wonderful truth.
My first question was: Why is it so hard to tell humans how we feel, but we could hold a purely honest, one-sided conversation with our cats and dogs?
>> My answer, culminating from books, interviews read, conversations, programs, etc. I’ve gleaned ideas from, is this: Try fibbing to your cat. It feels weird, doesn’t it? It feels kind of stupid, doesn’t it? You think what’s the point? Why should I lie to my pet? The truth is, Why not? Who knows for sure if they even understand us?
Animals don’t judge. I think I saw this on a pet food commercial as well. They don’t! Or at least they keep it to themselves. Whether you’re the biggest nerd the world has ever seen or a nasty jock that practices ballet secretly, what do your pets care? As long as you feed them, nurture them, and pay attention to them, they have no reason not to love you. Animals also work through the trust system: they read your actions and if you give them a reason not to trust you (i.e. abuse, neglect, etc.) they will not trust you. Simple as that.
I know it sounds like I am minimizing animal communication, which I may be, but this is the gist of it. Animals’ brains are wired for survival. Humans’ brains are wired for pleasing society.
Anyway, if you knew someone was just going to listen, without judgement, and just continue loving you no matter what you said (granted it’s not shouted and violent), wouldn’t you tell the truth, too?
We are all afraid of judgement, and we are all judging ourselves. Ever hear the phrase, “Your biggest critic is yourself?” It’s true. So if we weren’t so unsure if what we were feeling was correct, or normal, or stupid, or uncool, we would have no problem being honest, right?
Being certain and true with yourself starts within; it is a totally individual feat. It starts with changing your thinking from judging and fearful to loving and honest, and takes effort. I can’t preach the “way” because I’m not totally there myself – I am terrified of judgement which makes me shy. But I also know that joy in any situation comes from only myself, so I’ve got to give changing my thinking a try if I want anything to happen. I can have the best friends, and best grades, and best family, and best possessions, and best skills, but none of that will affect me if I am not happy with just myself.
I think currently, we have taken away from being happy within, to appearing “the best” on the outside. If you are not what the norm considers pleasing on the outside, you must not be a very pleasing person to get to know. I’m not talking just about physical looks, I’m talking about actions, words, and general outgoing-ness. If you are not spunky, obnoxious, and overly-friendly, what are you? A shy, studious, and boring nerd? NO!!! You can be anything without being loud! But who will know? People generally judge by outward appearance, not through talking or observance. And in a society that pushes women to “outsmart mother nature” and use “age-defying” serums, and men to use outrageous colognes to get girls and without being a buff ladies man, you are nothing, how will anything on the outside be true anyway?
That is where I return to my original point. Truth and joy go hand in hand because they both start within. Once you think You is pretty darn great, it won’t matter what other people will think; but with that kind of beautiful self-love emanating from you, people may start wanting to chat with you or be your friend who have never even talked to you before.
And Sundays are the perfect days to love yourself! Go take a long shower, bake cookies, watch movies, or make some “soothing” face mask out of avocado or something!