Tell me something I should know about you.

My mind is more organic than the food in the dang supermarket.

Welcome to How I Write a Blog Post 101.

The way my mind formulates words is a fantastic thing and also kind of my Achilles heel. Even though I am a strategic, futuristic person – which means I have a clear image of what I want and how I might get it – that in no way means I am organized, timely, or normal in my thought process. I never know what I will write next. Isn’t that great? I honestly have never planned a blog post until it hit me between the eyes. I am entirely spontaneous. (Now you know why I hate essays, but the research is okay.)

The way I know what I’m going to write is that during a few select minutes at any given time, words start drifting into place and sentences start flowing rapidly and I actually have to stop myself if I’m not near a computer or paper. I worry that I won’t remember my ideas so I cut myself off, thinking Sam, you gotta stop! If you keep going, you won’t remember what your writing in your head!!

It’s almost like having a seizure.* I can feel it coming on and need to find a safe place to let it happen, and no one can touch me while in the process because of the risk of dangerously injuring myself or him/herself. I try to keep a notebook on hand at all times as my safe-haven, but alas…I can’t write on a bike or whilst bathing.

This is also frustrating when I have deadlines. Since my entire writing process is natural, it is forcing myself against my own will to schedule my writing. I have to write an essay for English that is not a half bad topic – our values and ideas of success, and how they relate/compare to the characters in the books we’ve read; I was excited about this topic because I think about my own success a LOT (hint: it’s everything you read in this blog) – but I can’t bring myself to work on it. No, I’m not procrastinating, I am honestly saying my mind is blanking at the very thought of this essay. Once I go through the motions, I might be able to glean something decent; however, most times, it’s better for me to just wait for ideas (or stimulate them in some way, like rereading the books, etc.) than to squeeze mediocre words from a dried out word bank.

I probably could guess where my spontaneous ideas come from if I traced back my thought patterns, discoveries and lessons learned in the past few days, but it doesn’t work going forwards. That is why I hesitate to put a formal genre on this blog or anything I do. That is why a specific schedule makes me nervous (but some regularity makes me productive). Because I’m afraid of narrowing the broad, expansive world!! I’m afraid of being stuck. I’m an indecisive person, too; I guess my creative tendencies leak into my life on the whole. People laugh at my spastic self-debating while answering fake questions in games like Would You Rather or Truth or Dare (I usually go with truth; I’m lazy and I love questions). So if someone came up to me at this moment and requested, “Tell me something I should know about you.” I would have to say, “I’m an organic mind.”

* * *

*This is in no way intending to offend people who get seizures or pretend that I know what having a seizure is like.

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