Mind bending

Lately, I’ve encountered many a new idea and perspective on … a lot of things. I feel so enlightened that it just makes me tired.

Firstly, my English teacher reiterated a few days ago that, in the process of learning, when you feel really smart, you’re not learning anything. But when you feel really stupid, you’re learning the most. Why? Because when you feel really smart, you’re thinking, “Oh yeah, I got ‘dis, I’m the best.” When you feel really stupid, you’re thinking, “What? I never knew that! Lemme write that down…and what are you talking about now? That doesn’t make sense…oh! I get it…now what is THAT? Wait, explain that again!” When you feel dumb, a light bulb should go off in you’re head as an opportunity for learning!

All I could think to myself when she presented this nugget of truth was two things:

  1. THANK GOODNESS. I feel really dumb all the time! …at least it’s payin’ off!
  2. Duh, self! That makes sense.

What I also agreed with that my teacher mentioned was why are we all taught that not knowing something is some sort of crime? I know a TON of people are ALWAYS afraid to raise their hands in fear of being perceived as stupid because they didn’t know something. I know, because I’ve felt that way before! It is not a crime to not know…how can we expect people to know if they’ve never been taught it/exposed to it before? How can we? We can’t.

Anyway, after I learned this, I also made a little inward oath for myself. After I wrote about having swagger (can’t remember how long ago that was…) it kind of stuck with me and surfaced again when my guitar teacher mentioned, “You need swag. You need some jazz swag.” All I could do was nod feverishly in agreement. I need some swag, and the only way to get that is through confidence! (and practicing…but more on that in a bit.) So I made an inward oath to not give a crap anymore. You read correctly. I am hereby giving nary a crap about whether people think highly or lowly of my actions — why should I care whether people think I’m good or not? I don’t even like half those people anyway.

So far, it’s been working…It’s actually kind of freeing to write it all out. I mean, for some reason, I was in the shower and I got sort of furious at who-knows-what at 10 o’clock on a school night, but I hate going to bed angry, so I typed out my anger in the most distinguished voice I could muster in the form of a formal oath, printed it, and BAM — liberty from all bindings.

Also, something else my guitar teacher said has kind of been haunting for the last week. He said, “If you neglect your guitar for one day, it neglects you for two.” Holy crap, words-o-wisdom right there. I can’t believe I never thought of that!! It makes SO. MUCH. SENSE. So everyday, no matter the time, if I haven’t practiced yet, all I hear is it will neglect yoooou for twoooo dayssss!    “Nooo!” I think. I can’t let that happen! Plus, if I want some musical swagger, how will I get any if I never get better?

Lastly, I took this strength-finder test a WHILE ago* and I have to say, it’s got me figured out. Scarily. It assesses your type of mind and gives suggestions for how to use those strengths of yours. My number one strength is Input. Which means I collect things. I find EVERYTHING interesting. I do not know why I feel the need to constantly archive information in my brain, but I do. And it keeps my mind fresh. Make sense?

Oh yeah.

My four other strengths are Strategic, Intellection, Futuristic, and Learner. Respectively, that basically means I have a strong intuition and like to weed through options quickly to find the best way; I enjoy being alone and I really enjoy thinking…A LOT; the future is energizing and inspiring to me and the future to me is very detailed; and I lovelovelove to learn. My tips were all kind of saying the same thing: Schedule time to think, muse, learn, archive info, etc. I need to physically force “me time” into my schedule to ultimately keep my mind happy. Practicing music, listening to music, writing, journaling, reading, browsing, experiencing, observing, you name it. My mind needs constant enriching or I will be unhappy. And I figured out — that is absolutely correct. When I get no time to think, it’s frustrating. Plus, I have about a hundred new things I’m trying to learn and read now and haven’t gotten anywhere in any of them. Yesterday, though, (bless Fridays) I read a Greek mythology book for about two hours, had a great practice and got to write this blog. I’d say my mind can rest now.

*StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath.


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