This is important.
No. One: It has a horrible desire for extra knowledge. I say “horrible” because even though “knowledge is power” and all that hoopla, my mind absolutely reels with possibilities until I get an answer to a usually unnecessary question. And it doesn’t stop. Never. No, not even if I forget; I have an excellent memory, and I will remember. Now you should know why I ask so many questions. To relieve my mind.
No. Two: It never SHUTS UP! Never! There are always questions; answers; theories; melodies; songs; stories; new ideas; ideas that I criticize myself for thinking of because they are utterly awful and dumb; possibilities; more questions…I swear, if there was some smart-computer thing hooked up to my mind, I would have at least twelve books published, three records released and a Nobel Peace prize. Does this explain why my explanations make no sense? Because, if it doesn’t, try having a mind where a tidal wave of thoughts crashes down on you whilst trying to speak resulting in all your ideas coming out in succession, thus confusing the listener! Seriously, try it!
No. Three: If I didn’t have writing and music to express myself through, I would have already gone insane. The only way I can successfully explain this is through a metaphor. This idea is represented by some pancake batter and a funnel. The pancake batter represents my thoughts — all blended together, hard to separate, yet, they might make sense eventually if you “cook them right” or explain/organize them correctly. The funnel represents writing and music because when you pour things in a funnel, they come smoothly and orderly out the other end; writing and music do the same thing to my “pancake batter” (thoughts). You see, when I “pour” my thoughts, ideas, emotions — a.k.a. “pancake batter” — into the “funnel” — writing/music — they make more sense!! (or at least…to me.) That happens because when I pour my pancake batter through the writing-funnel, the batter makes its way to the reader in an organized fashion, not in a splatter-y way like it would if I just tipped the bowl of it over with my eyes closed (the way I usually do, a.k.a. my explaining technique). Writing forces my thoughts to make sense, otherwise I wouldn’t know what I was talking about, let alone other people. One cannot write a paper with ideas thrown everywhere and no order (the way I explain things verbally) without being criticized and/or purposeless. Now, when I pour my pancake batter through the music-funnel, something else happens. It doesn’t force my thoughts to get organized, it just forces them away! How relieving! I have tried playing music whilst thinking of other things and it doesn’t sound too good…If I don’t focus on music and music alone, it doesn’t sound right, nor does it satisfy me, so my thoughts are given the boot! Do you know how great that feels!? To finally NOT wonder constantly of how Crayola gets black pigments in their crayons and exactly how paper is recycled — do they melt it? Do they mash it all together? Questions, questions — but at how wonderful I have gotten at playing Shiver by Coldplay!! (Well…) If you don’t, IT’S SUPERB.
I’ll wager that that was the most interesting thing you read all day.