I have always felt that clothes didn’t matter, that I can just wear what fits me, what matches and I’ll be okay. I never had a fashion sense or a particular “style” or knew what trends were currently popular. But, I would always have trouble when I was supposed to dress nicely for a birthday dinner, one of my parent’s work functions, etc. because I have either casual clothes or a fancy dress, both of which were inappropriate or plain embarrassing to wear. I thought, hey, no one should look at me, talk to me, whatever, because of my fashion sense.
However, I would contradict myself on a daily basis. I ignored the fact that I always felt more “myself” wearing my Coldplay: Viva La Vida Tour t-shirt or my Led Zeppelin concert tee I got for Christmas (probably because they say a lot about me: I like music). And when my twin sister (who also attended the Coldplay show) wears her VLV Tour shirt, I start thinking, oh no, they’ll think she’s the Coldplay fan, the big cheese, etc. which makes absolutely no sense! It’s perfectly fine if she wears it! What am I thinking? She’s allowed to like Coldplay even though I love them a LOT (and have two of their posters in my room…). Then I look down at what I’m probably wearing: a plain tank top and plain black shorts and my hair in a sloppy bun. I get jealous thinking, she probably looks cooler to talk to and blah blah blah. And what does this outfit say about me? That I like to wear purple? No! It kind of reveals nothing at all besides that I’m not interesting. Which I am!
I finally noticed that I feel more “myself” wearing my VLV shirt because that is my style! It says what I want it to say about me: that I like Coldplay, concerts, music. But I can’t wear that shirt EVERYDAY to say something about my personality! So what to wear?
Another thing I think about is: why should I dress up for school?? It’s JUST school, why should I wear a nice shirt or something? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t go dressed to school in a stain-covered pair of raggedy sweat pants and an old hoodie! I just wear plain clothes. Or athletic style clothes. Mostly black shorts and a sorta form-fitting solid color shirt. Maybe substitute the shirt for a baseball team jersey and the shorts for some straight leg jeans (considering that’s the only style that fits/looks decent on an soccer player and swimmer’s legs). All I see in these clothes is boring and/or sporty. I like sports but I also like other things. So what to wear?!
But, yesterday, I turned over a new leaf. (Congrats, self!) I was told that we were going shopping at a thrift store (my mom, sis and me). I thought, ooh maybe I’ll find some CDs or something (none of which were appealing). Of course, the thrift store wasn’t the only place we stopped at. Which happens a lot. And I am one of those few girls who doesn’t prefer to shop, so I started feeling tired, annoyed, etc. as we walked into the Juniors’ section of Bon-Ton. But I was tired of feeling tired! I thought, Gosh, darn-it, Sam! Mom is offering to buy you some dang clothes! So pick out some dang clothes, dang-it! You’ve been complaining about your non-existent wardrobe, so make it exist! And I had to admit to myself that those green military style pants were quite cool… So, I just went around, thinking of what I wanted to look like, a sort of vintage cool, but also a tad of rock and roll mixed in (at least, that’s what my in-a-band alter-ego dresses like when she’s up on stage shredding her white Stratocaster!). I picked up random shirts and “rompers” and dresses and jackets and those green military pants, articles of clothing I didn’t understand, but liked the aspect of them, anyway and went with my sis into the fitting room. The rooms were tiny and we had to share one but it was probably the most fun I had shopping ever. (Plus, we could not resist making weird noises and sing songs to confuse the other try-er on-ers.) We modeled our picks and I actually looked good in a stylish outfit. It’s a miracle! Now, with the new school year starting, at a new school, I actually have something to wear on the first day of school.
I finally realized that, no, no one should judge you for what you wear, but that doesn’t mean you should wear plain clothes so they don’t know what to expect. I’ve heard on so many fashion shows (courtesy of my sister) that even though clothes shouldn’t be the only thing people judge you on, they say a LOT about your personality. I finally understand! Sure, they might think about you and what you’re wearing, but at least if you wear something “you”, you’ll feel more like yourself and maybe look bit like it, too.